If I hear "Baby Daddy" one more time...& Season Premier of The Walking Dead.

"That just my baby daddy!" GRRRRR.. I hate that song with a passion. Who ever wrote it for that stupid artist must need a lobotomy because it's dumb as heck.

Since that ratchet song back in the late 90's early 2000, "Baby Daddy/Momma"  have been coined as the newest phrase used in terms of your children's father or mother. I hate pop culture to the fullest and have been dumbing down people since then.  Reminds me of this gem of a movie "Idocracy" with Maya Rudolph and Luke Wilson. What happened to saying "ex-husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend" or "my son or daughter's father/mother?" IDIOTTTTSSS!!!

WAKE UP!

Me, personally I refer my children's father as my daughter's name FATHER and my son name FATHER! Was that hard? No!  Why ? Because I'm in the league of extraordinary intelligence called a BRAIN. My brain and I work very hard to make me, an complete fully functioning human being. Being human with a  brain have its advantages: like speaking in complete sentences, making judgement on my decision, reflecting my personality to the world and finally writing this blog for you to read  and understand.  It's because I paid attention in school.  I wasn't an A&B student but an average student, I made plenty of C's   in during school and college but shoot, when speaking in an illiterate manner and using "baby daddy" you have lost  your argument and my sympathy. Even a person with little education and plenty of common sense will use their brain to function as a normal human being.

Not too long ago at work, we had a manager who was married to my cousin, she kept saying "my baby daddy" (she's ww) over 10  times. At the 3rd BD, I lost interest and made fun of her in my head. My head said "Omigosh, this tard is using BD over and over, how come she couldn't say my child's father?' So my other coworker Makenz, talked about it and laughed at her for using it over and over. Why?  Because she sounded stupid. I don't like stupid people just like Forrest said "Stupid is as stupid does."  So when you're bitching about your BD or BM did repeating it over and over and over, save that ish for someone else that will give a care.  Because I don't.

So I give you this note: When you use BM or BD referring to the other parental unit, you deserve to be in BD & BM HELL for the rest of your damn life!

I don't have that hell because I don't refer my ex-husband as that. He's not the best but I'm damn sure not going to stoop down to stupidity!! My lovely rant.  On a lighter note,


The Walking Dead Season 3  10/14/2012

She ain't playing around with her katana!

No, not a plug (sorta) but if you're  not into a zombie apocalypse that's cool, if so yes I do love TWD!!!
Not a  bad start and  I hate one of the coolest  character's got bitten last night. But what intrigued  me is the bw with the katana, her name is Michonne. SUPA SWWEEETTTTT!!! And  carries TWO zombies with no jaws and limbs like dogs on chains *no kissy- kissy, grabby-grabby from these handsome guys*, dayumm, nice thinking! After watching with my grandmother, she doesn't like gore but she strangely tuned in with me, a random thought struck. She have dreads, athletic & stealthy and carries a katana. And I said "hmmm black women in a zombie apocalypse? interesting??" Which lead to this:

The Black Women's Guide when in a zombie apocalypse:

1. There are no RELAXERS & WEAVES in a ZA! Sorry ladies but your making sure your hair is  nice doesn't equal survival.  If your stylist happens to be the walking dead, sorry boo boo, she can't tighten up your lace front. Natural hair is the thing. twa, puffed fros, shaved heads and dreads are. You can't go fighting zombies, patting your new growth  and searching for a relaxer at the shabby use to be Korean hair store. If you do consider yourself bitten and one of the undead, with a nice head of hair.
* I will shoot you cold and throw a pack of Remy hair in your dismissal  as a "I told you so."

2. Referring to number  1, ummm no running water. No power, no water, can't wash that crap out.  Your concerned: is a bath * yeah  right* , food& medicine, if your lucky, finding a shelter, living people (VET THEM!!) and not run into those gross suckers on your merry path. But if your feeling pretty,deciding to slap the creamy crack  because "your kitchen is bb'd" finding a clear running stream to wash it out alone, Again, zombies do move like ninjas which goes into..

3.  You must be in shape. Lots of  running  and  maneuvering. If you  haven't exercised since high school, I suggest burpies and sprints. Remember slo mo running equals attack. Oh by the way, if you have made fun of those white girls that fallen a lot in horror movies. Think again, you gonna do the same thing too & get yo azz ate up.  That follows..

4. Know a DAMN weapon of choice!  In  the first season of TWD, I notice  the older bw didn't have a gun, knife, stick something but she can run tho! Running is fine but having protection is better. Goes back to #3, if you fall, you'll have a weapon to fight off, getting back into Flo Jo mode!!! I don't care if you weld a  hybrid-chain glock  with a pick axe on the end, USE IT! You're fighting zombies! When Grace Jones was in Conan the Destroyer, she had a 'stick' hahahha its called a staff. But she kicked ass with it. Hammer some nails, shard glass, an arrow on the staff. If you're too scared to use a gun or my preference a samurai sword, sais or katana, be useful in a group like cooking, cleaning, rounding up supplies, if not then considered yourself bitten and the walking dead.

5.  Finally, have sense enough to SURVIVE!! If you have lived in the hood, blackistan whatever hell hole, you've survived and living the awesome good life until this cluster fuckery of craziness happened *damn you virus!* those skills need to kick in FAST! As a country person, we are taught survival skills, so no biggie to us. Amazingly, when shit hits the fan, humans have a flight or fight response. So kick all the living dead ass you want or run away but still kick ass at  the same time.

Remember; natural hair is your friend, keep that heart rate up and pumping, choose a weapon of choice and survive! The rule of thumb for a Black Woman's Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse. Feel free to add anymore on the list!

Before

Voila! After

:)

FASHION FASHION, Please no busted up shoes!!

We all  love fashion and most of us are either hip, sophisticated, modern and up on current fashion. But one thing that I've notice is the athlete shoe and jeans for everyday..Blahhh boring!!! In my area and probably in your region too, jeans and shoes maybe a long tee shirt or blouse seems to be the all wrong for  me. IMO, I love feminine styles!  As a former tomboy, I hated to wear dresses my grandmother bought me and secretly I loved them. The constant whining and crying about wearing a dress  and getting made up to look  like girl kinda  made me cringe and loving it. I wanted  to hang out with the boys,  not worrying about trying to cross your legs, looking very sweet and pretty.

I'm 34 now and I love love love dresses and  skirts. I own  maybe two pairs of jeans. I ditched  all of my jeans because one: my body changed differently after having my son, two: seems that everyone is wearing jeans with any old thang and third: they don't  seem quite feminine to me. Feminine is the key because I am  female but wearing nothing but jeans and a t-shirt, you blended in with the normal crowd that wears them.
I like to stick out; meaning LOOK GOOD among the masses. I want heads to turn, people to stare (especially guys) and massive compliments.  If you have any family albums of your great grandmother, grandmother, aunts, and mother, look at the fashion of their era. And if you remember them talking about how much they struggled and what little money they had, look how feminine and beautiful they looked! They didn't walk around with their booty out, girls jiggling everywhere and hair going this way and that. They looked  like WOMEN!
Don't say: Because times have changed, whatever! Don't  give me that crock of boo boo to ease your empty statement  because the last time  I checked dresses wasn't outlaw and we're still women.

*To my wonderful cousin who lives in the Bay Area, told me that she can rock a long blouse and jeans, I'm still going to quantum leap to your house pretty soon for fashion tips* LOL.

Friggin  Sweet and doesn't hurt  my feet!

I  went shopping  today, I hit Dillard's for some nice red gorg pumps from Jessica Simpson * yes she's pretty dang affordable!*  for a wedding I'm attending in November. I  also applied and gotten a Dillard's department store card too. Can you say I jumped like a Price is Right contestant? My son was wondering "Why mommy excited?" Shiiett, I got a Dillard's card!! With a nice credit limit too, not shabby for a divorcee!

I'm wearing this while typing!!

Please get this! Make your lushy lipz go
BOOM!

Also I had to hit the M.A.C. counter for some lipstick. Trying on three colors,  I  picked Ruby Woo (a matte lipstick, red of course and Quite the Thing with a lip pencil.  I hated that I missed the Marilyn  Monroe collection because the makeup artist told me  they sold out in two hours. I spent 46.00 on 3 things. Not because I got a Dillard's card because I invest in quality makeup.  I do pay this amount when I hit the M.A.C. counter in 4-6 months. I like the products to last, give me a great look and the social impact of the M.A.C message.
I'm still debating on my dress. I've bought a 70's inspired, three toned dress   from my job and pondering on buying one from American Apparel. I have two skirts that I bought for eight dollars, high waisted pencil skirt ( I got that Mad Men 50-60's vibe going on) and a bandeau halter dress, very sexy!!!  My good ol teenager daughter suggest that I should purchase this:


http://store.americanapparel.net/rsa7309.html
But not in this color. She told me "Blood Orange" would be my best bet and the right color for me. Check out the beautiful model that is wearing it (I couldn't copy the pic, so I got this one.)  I hope it isn't extreme cold down in the Austin area but I know it's windy as hell!

I know I'm not going to "show up" the bride with either dress because this is her day. I will make the final decision soon but I'm not going to look ' like I came out the hollar or the briar patch." Plus, there's going to be some guys there, single too. I do dress  up on special occasions but also going out in public. I even look casual cute when I work in the afternoons; cleaning classrooms, mopping, dusting and throwing out trash at school. Why?  Because I can! I'm in the public eye and must remain professional looking. Just because I dump trash and clean commodes behind nasty ass kids, Monday thru  Friday doesn't mean I look like a custodian. I actually look like a student.  And  believe me when the kids see this puffy, beautiful afro, red lips and a nice smile walking down the hallway with my headphones on, they know it's Ms. Kiki. They are too mesmerized by my hair because it's different and I guess being in  school district with a large Hispanic population, I guess you tend to look for different. And it's nothing wrong with seeking different.

Anyhoo, I'm off to bed. But what I love about fall is the turning of the leaves and the fashion.You don't have to look busted up, hulled out, shop for cheap clothing at the store that sell hair weave and speakers only to wear them for 3 weeks, then falling apart in the washer. I have lost count to women, beautiful black women that shop so cheaply that I almost gave up hope. LOL. *Please dress according to your age, I cringe seeing 40+ women at the Body Shop, scavenging hoochie momma, club hopping clothing TARGETED for 20 somethings, Really??* :/  Pay attention to  what's in and what's not, also create and hone a look for YOURSELF and not copying. My style is more chameleon: channeling vintage, rock n roll, rockabilly, sophistication, classic cuts from different time eras. My personal favorites are Victorian (goth steampunk) and the 40's & early  50's. (killer evening dresses and red lipstick.)

 I have set up good websites to find great fashion either high end and low, my personal favs. Happy Hunting with your fall picks with beauty and clothing.

Love & Blessings!
K.

http://store.americanapparel.net/
http://www.spool72.com/
http://www.ideeli.com/welcome
http://www.modcloth.com/
http://www.trashydiva.com/
http://www.lulus.com/
http://www.forever21.com/Product/Main.aspx?br=f21-  they have some KICK ASS skinny jeans  for  $10.80. My daughter and I  have a pair.

WTF!! Jalapeno Flavor Cheetos and Polo Jeans DO NOT MIX.

My wet and windy Saturday evening at the store (sales associate on weekends remember?)  I was looking so vintage Mad Men style. I love  my chameleon styles but keep it flirty & feminine. Though  my 2 1/2 inch stilettos was killing me,  I  slipped on my Melisa flats and kept  on servicing customers until........

Cheetos arrived.

Why did I call  him Cheetos? Because he arrived very HIGH and smacking on Cheetos. Who in the world comes to a department store after smoking I guess 3-4 blunts back to back and decides to shop for jeans? Cheetos did.  Cheetos, a Hispanic male comes up to me for  my assistance:

Cheetos: Doyhahwhere the Poulo pants are?
Me: What?
Cheetos (sigh): Do youuu know where the Pouloo--( mumbling)--at?
Me (getting a bit uncomfortable): Ohhhh yes, umm SouthPole jeans?
Cheetos ( getting a bit tired of repeating) POLO pantttttsssss (stares into the distance.)
Me  (almost about to ask what wrong until I seen he was high and have to stiffen a laugh): POLO PANTS??  (Now going into annoying Valley Girl mode)  YYYYESSS WE DO!!! We have an ArrrAAAAAYYY of US Polo jeans, (now blinking my eyes uncontrollable,  getting louder and shrill) OVER THERE!

Now being the type of person that I am, I detest drunks and high people. Why? Because long ago, when there wasn't a name called "binge drinking" people use to get tore down,  follow me and ask me the dumbest questions, trying to start shit or get extremely sexual in a stupid way. When  I realize that I do not want be around these folks that where I slid on my "thinking cap".  Instead of being  bothered by them, in my goofy crazy and slightly sadistic way, I mess with them. If  you pass out around me,  you'll  get full blown makeup on ya,  take  pictures and  have all of your friends laugh at you.  If you're high, I will take your food, call  your name quietly in the wind like a ghost and make up the worst story involving you and some type of vegetable that I can think of. One time, when I was  married, the ex-husband's cousin passed out on my couch plenty of time due to being high and drunk at the same time. Plus he was snoring," What a loser "I said.  So I took a two day old loaf of Italian bread, waited for the right moment to open his mouth REALLY wide and BAM! I smashed that crap down his throat (he wasn't happy)!! Of course I wanted him to wake up because he was really annoying and like I said I cannot stand extremely  drunk, rude, obnoxious, disrespectful alcoholic & weed smoking people.

Back  to  Cheetos, he stood there for an hour looking at three pairs of Polo jeans, then FINALLY went to try them on. The damn fool let his empty bag in the dressing room! GRRRRR. I was telling the ladies  that this dude was high and please laugh at this stupid ass. Even some of  my customers realized this! After staring and trying on these jeans, he placed them on the counter, I ranged them up. I kept the same shrilly irritating voice to mess  with his high. Then he forgot his debit card! Really?  He came back with the debit card (I thought the rain and wind swept him away)  and charged 83.30. Then wanted to look for sock and shirts.  So he did while I laughed and laughed away. When he didn't find what he was looking for he left.   I  was so glad he was gone!

Moral of the story:  I  don't care if Julio, Juan, Peter or any guy that smokes weed for "recreational' purposes,  you need  to STAY away from them. What if Cheetos leaving the parking lot, ran over a customer? Caused an accident? or worse putting those in danger on the highway?  I don't care if this person did this for shits  and giggles, he's  still a DBR  and a moron. "But Keeshia,  people that smoke weed don't do  harmful stuff cuz they forget." Yeah, tell me that wishy washy lie.  What if you chose this person  to  be the love of your life?  And you guys had  a baby? He's SUPPPOSE  to care for  his child, while you're running a quick errand,  he gets high  and accidently drops the baby. Do you find that funny? or ready to murq him?  He can't keep a job? He wanders aimlessly to (the department store that rhymes with gels) to look for jeans, spending your last dime? He wants to get high all the time and forgets quality time with you?  Your friends stop hanging  out with you guys because he's too 'blowed" to have normal conversations?  What if the weed is not strong enough and goes on to other harder drugs?  You'll be the judge.
*Keep on, find yourself broke, confused, hurt and trying to support him with NA meetings*

We've tried the sticky once upon a time either peer pressure, college parties and with pot head friends that was bored. If you haven't you're not missing a damn thing!  GOOD FOR YOU!  I'm going to be real,  Cheetos is a very cute guy but being high, eating his crunchie munchies, crumbs all over his mouth, he looked like a total dumbass. He embarrassed himself in the most degrading way by walking in by himself looking for jeans, under the influence. Oh yeah, if my co-worker's cop husband would have sauntered into the store, he would have gotten POPPED!  The law is the law and that's the same as coming into a store drunk as a skunk. If Cheetos shows up next Saturday while working, returning those jeans because he spent too much  on them, actually sober   this time, I will  still give him the same shrilly irritating voice and treat him hap-hazardously decent and slightly evil because of his behavior in the store.  Remember, first impression are important and that sucker blowed--pun  intended them out the water. Not just the respect  as a customer but blowing his chances with any single women that might find him attractive. I wouldn't dare get this dork's number for shit.

That's why Vetting  is important. If you can't stand a weed head even if he's non-bm, RUN! Alcoholic,  RUN!  In this piece  from DDR: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Black-Women-With-Other-Brothers/180996238697983?ref=hl/.  She points out the WBD=White Boy Drunk.  You do not know how many  WBD's that I have ran into and dated in the past. Oh my gosh! Can you say "total nightmare!"  They  are scary in the  most odd way and should be NOT tolerated, EVER! Don't even laugh and think you can handle this one because, you'll  will loose your  mind!  And for those who find the Hispanic men sexy and loveable (yes they are!) who do these ill behaviors, LEAVE THEM ALONE!  If  Hector doesn't drink but smoke that "dank", very unacceptable. Yes, I'm  not  hip with the drug lingo but if you know that smell and he's bathe in cologne to disguise it, hiding the fact he's a pot head;  you better learn the art of ninja--fast! POOF!

Black women, we come from  all  different walks of life, styles, education and all. We are not monoliths,but when seeking a quality mate from the global village, we must VET to utter importance.  I can't stress that enough especially to my Southern beauties. Life maybe slow like molasses in  the South but WE need to speed up the process to WAKE UP! If you all  ready have, you know tha deal. Hispanic men are a growing population here in the South and many do love bw's. But you gotta VET them just as well.  Please PLEASE PLEASE do not find the ones that hangs out with black male friends of the DBR nature. Black and  Hispanic culture is very close in similarities and you will mixed up!  Know the culture very well and not "hood rat" shit in the black and hispanic communities they pass off as "normal!!!"   Do not be that woman who doesn't date a bm but desire a hm and see the same bs that's in a DBR bm.  You still getting the same crap! Difference is the skin tone but the same bs behavior you dealt in a DBR bm is the SAME with a DBR hm!!!!!  That goes the same with the wiggers too.

Last night I thought about a guy,  Hispanic man, that I had  a mad crush on since he came to our school years ago. Didn't speak a lick of English, he learned, graduated and went on to college. I helped him with a couple of English term papers and I decided to let my feelings out. He felt the same way. We dated but me being stupid at the time, single mother and my  daughter's father nowhere in site  (DBR wm) he helped me with buying pull ups and milk. I said "I'm working, going to school and  I can do this." he said  " Doesn't matter because I understand because of  my  mother was in the same situation with me and my sister." He didn't have to but he did because he seen me and my daughter in his future after graduating college. He even told  me to stick around  because HE was going to change  my life and  his for the better. But  my dumbass was stuck on stupid because of  his lack sexual skills  (facepalmed and slapped myself many of times.)  My parents liked him, especially my mother, she adored him (he also served as a pallbear at her funeral.) My father who is straight 'ignit' and still is, welcomed him into his house and respected him.  I  had the finally say so in naming his baby sister at the hospital. Me!  Now he's married  to a hw and have an  adorable baby girl, a  present on Father's Day. See? I let a great guy go just because of stupid reasons. And when  I did have a greater chance of living  in a nice home in the suburbs of Dallas/Ft. Worth, enjoying  a quality life for me and my daughter,  marrying a QLL man  that I've know all  my life that going to love and cherish me for the rest of  my life. I blew it! A quality man that I let go in the wind. I don't kick myself in the face now but accept it as a well-learned lesson. I still talk to him  every once in a while, he's such a  good friend. His wife  is one lucky woman to have him.  Ladies, read and take  this story to heart because I'm sharing a personal one  with you.
Leave that swag, bling bling,  Air Force Ones, Long white T, grill-out, ice cream paint job, YOLO bs dude alone!!!!  He's not your type and trust me he can't do nothing for you but give you "hard dick and bubble gum"  antics. KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!!

*I'm still working on the fashion blog, takes time to compose the information!!

Love & Blessings!!

Excellent Sites and Facebook page!!!

Morning!!! More excellent sites and Facebook like pages to join:

http://www.facebook.com/BlackWomenDeserveBetter

Home site: http://blackwomendeservebetter.com/

http://www.swirlingandmarriage.com/pillars-of-salt-what-a-waste-of-time/

I  have a full day ahead starting  off with my morning green tea.
Have  a Happy Monday!! :)

Love & Blessings
K.

I love Star Trek but do I see Captain Kirk and the crew saving me??

I'm a big star Star Trek fan or Trekkie for short. Being in love with  Mr. Spock (hahha, you thought  I  was going to say Kirk), Mr. Sulu and Bones I loved these men for their intelligence and bravery on the show. Okay,  I was a bit smitten by Captain Kirk. Years later the revival of Star Trek franchise of TNG (The Next Generation)  with Captain Picard, Will Riker, Data, Warf, and Geordi. At first, I was not happy about  these new crew members because they couldn't compete with  the  old  cast but they won me over with the subject: The People & the stories.

The other night I was watching the ninth Star  Trek movie called "Insurrection." Not the most liked  movie but showed  me a  new light in the storyline. You should check it out, even if you're not a sci-fi fan  like  me.  Understanding the message in the movie shows how much the Bakkoo people, ditched the old ways of  thinking and welcome new ways to make sure peace, love and QUALITY living for EVERYBODY!!!

We've got realize that nobody isn't going to help  us, we have to band  together to  help each  other. Some are not on the mode with us, some need help and some will turn their backs against us. Believe in the powers that be, we are becoming a upward, mobile beautiful women that are desirable, loving, caring and marriage  /dating individuals. This isn't new but an actual fact.
http://elegantblackwoman.blogspot.com/2012/09/black-women-must-advertise-their-unique.html

I love this article and 200% co-signed, stamped and seal with love. Our lovely neighbor of the North puts it down like nobody's business.  I urge those who come across my blog, go check her out!

I read this a couple days  ago:  http://blackwomenwhitemen.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/should-you-be-skeptical-of-white-men-who-only-date-black-women/
*This will be the LAST link that  I will put up because of the way how the comments are negative, spun  out of control and major TROLLING!*

In my response to this, not really because if you vet men of different cultures who has a preference for black women.  The ONLY skepticism is if the guy, "want the "black experience", I heard that "black coochie" is  good so on and so forth. Meaning  you  need  to  run the hell  away from that type of person. That goes for Tyrone, Tito, Todd, Tzu-Chang and them who loves that "phat" azz only.

 One person said "  don’t understand what’s the problem with WM who only date BW. What’s wrong with a preference? BW are always shooting themselves in the foot. Have you ever heard a WW express caution about dating BM who only date WW? Doesn’t make any sense."

This  person  made the most  logical point and  there's more on here  who do that. But one lady that just kept spewing and spewing about how much wm treated her, blah blah and that she's perfectly happy with a bm. Good for her!!!  Nobody isn't knocking her down with her decision and preference but she's  trying to knock  those down  who do desire a QLL mate despite what shade he is.  I'm sorry  that  you  had such a crappy experience  in dating  IR  but  you  shouldn't  inject your harsh poisons to all  of your sisters.
 She also said " I'm black first and woman second."  Ummmm really? Think about it; when you was born did the ob/gyn whose handling your birth said "IT"S A BLACK GIRL?" NO!  S/he said "IT"S A GIRL!" The order is: Human being, gender and race but some bw view themselves as race, gender and human being.  Quit this" alien/superhuman" thinking! It's ridiculous! Only person that I know in comics (my dorkiness is showing) is Superman. He looked human (wasn't) and his race (Kryptonian.)  The power of the sun made him Superman/ Ka-El and his alter ego Clark Kent was acting human to blend it  with society.
I couldn't read anymore spewing defective comments, made my  head swim and I knew better. :/

You gonna let one person who had a bad experience decide your perception on dating  outside your culture?

 I  had that moment myself long ago after an incident at the hospital.  I had pains, throwing up bile and  food  turns out that  my gallbladder was acting  up and the stones moving around violently. I was  dating  a wm at the time and he acted an ass, looking around to see  if "any" of  his family or friends  knew  he was dating a bw. He thought I  was pregnant (we always had safe sex) before the doctor came to tell my prognosis. After finding out my gallbladder he still was on "dickhead" mode  (Excuse me for that). Sad ain't it? When something scary happens, his true colors come out, instead of being there and  making sure I was okay,  his fears got the  best of him.   After surgery  ( in another town) , he called to check up on me, I answered him short, terse words. After that,  I said  my good byes to dating men  that wasn't black.  That was 8 years  ago.  Do  you  know how much hurt  and  anger I  harbored towards  him?? A LOT!  Well going through a rotten marriage  and a the cusp of  separating from the ex  2 1/2 years ago, he found  me on Facebook, wrote me, called me and we talked about  it. He apologized!!!  I told him I'd already forgave him.  Nothing  but  love and  understanding. He wrote  me a  couple months back asking me  how was I doing and wishing  me nothing  but  the  best in life and the right guy will  come in my life soon because I DESERVE IT!

I  should  have been that bitter black woman/ Sistah Solijah and told  him that I don't want his apology, cussed him out and kept hating wm? Joining the masses of  the naysayers to keep our sistahs in check and keep hating 'de evil white man?' But that's not me. I have a kind heart, believe in the goodness of people. Mistakes happen, feelings are hurt but what can you do is to forgive yourself and  move on. Some can't do that but keep the pain, "the beast of burden" of why  and how come you can not move on just because of something terrible happened in your past. The same "authentic poison"  that keep bw's in pain now when naysayers throw up the 'de evil  white man'  mantra. 

Another instance, in  the last blog, "Another bites the dust" I went to a local popular bar about 30 minutes away after work. They had live music, playing groovy 70's, 80's and 90's cover songs, go  go dancers, singles and couples everywhere dancing. I gotten my drink, feeling the vibe  of the music. After bopping away, I had to use  the restroom. Before I came out of the stall,  two ww came in talking.  I nodded at them went to the sink, wash my hands.  
 Brunette: "Do  you REALLY need to use it??"
Blonde: "Naww, not  really, but you can  (catty attitude.)

At this moment, I  tuned  them out. Because it  was a Mean Girls-esque call out on  me.They wanted me  to  react  to  this. I didn't stink it up, 'tow" tha commode up, if  they sat after a black girl they have color on  their butts or anything. I was nicely dressed, mannered and gave them a nod of  being  friendly. I  could  have 'acted  black"  on  them but they do not know  that  I've  went to an  all white school and recognize this behavior.  If tha "sistah" came  out I would  have  ended up at the county jail across the street. They would have  won, I would have  lost. Never let fools get you and never give them the sadistic satisfaction!  So sad that grown women still act in 'remedial  jr/high  school' mode  ( and I  work in the school district!)  And these ww are in their mid- thirties (i'm 34)!! 


Sharing two stories about my experience,  I still date men from different cultures and talk  to them. One thing that I re-learned is VET VET VET  and trained in the deadly arts of common sense!!! LOL.  My  mother of late, recognized my  big heart and the power of kindness within me from a child. She reminded and harness that energy for  me  to  see personally. I'm one very  happy woman to have the women in my life, through bad and good influencing me either late catching or early  on to mold me to the person that I am!!

Today, I thought about  it:  Instead of IR dating, say dating because it is dating/marriage among human beings. I'm not too fond of labels, I wonder if I can rename my blog. But  I might  keep  it due to some that  are new to this; need a good laugh, enhanced & common critical thinking, a bit stern like Big Mama's information that will help, enlighten and broaden many many minds.

Next  week,  I'm going to do a fashion blog. I love  fashion, that's my  passion and major in college. My  grandfather is sick since Friday and doing well in the hospital. This weekend have been a major!!! 
Love and Blessing!!
K. :)

Insightful Reads and Critical Thinking!

What a helluva weekend! I worked  7 days straight! I'm tired but I gotta get back to work around 2pm  today  and afterwards wait for my daughter to come back from her volleyball game.


I have ran  across  a page on Facebook called: Black Women with Other Brothers.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Black-Women-With-Other-Brothers/180996238697983

DDR, tickles me, most and IMPORTANTLY letting us fellow swirlers and newbies focusing on VETTING!

Betty Chambers website is a great one!
http://bettychambers.com/

Eugenia:
http://marriedgirlinaweirdworld.wordpress.com/

And of course  Ms Evia, Halima and Khadija
http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/2012/09/bwiimr-slice-yes-even-very-rich-bw-need-love-too-dont-let-the-political-become-personal.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BlackFemaleInterracialMarriageEzine+%28Black+Female+Interracial+Marriage+Ezine%29

http://sojournerspassport.com/<----Recommend her book too!! A must read!!!

http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/

For all  my Southern black women that are still in the "woods" or coming out of the woods, please read the knowledge. Knowledge is power and knowing  that it's a useful tool, for your aspect of life. You  know the horror, see it and may have dealt with it. Never too late for change and heal.

Being a long time swirler and was married to a DBR bm due to poorly vetting skills, I know what I'm talking about.  Truth do set you  free but the truth hurts  like hell!!! Lies are pretty, sugar coated to make you feel comfortable, stay in your place and never question the alternative.

Also read about the online players; Online dating is great but they're are cyber players.  I have 'met' a couple and wasn't worth my time.  Take the time to screen  BW/WM IR chat rooms and social pages carefully. I have deleted myself from at least 5 this year do to DBR's and attacking on bw's.  Do not be fooled with the wigger types either. If you wanted to date a wigger then why not a black man? I never was and remotely attracted  to wiggers, Yep I said it "Wiggers!" Until one time after a bad breakup, I've gotten with a wigger (rebound) and it's the worse.  Any DBR non-black man that wants to act with swag, hip-hop, gangstaish, thuggish, a member of the ABC crew and tries to "fit" into so called black culture , trying to "holla at a sista" you need to send his ass packin back to Blackistan.   If you want to do the wigger types be my guest, because I do not support those guys  in  any fashion. <-----My skin crawled.

Anyhoos, its time for me to leave for work!

Have a wonderful safe and blessed week!!!

Alphas & Betas in my soup?

I have a long weekend ahead of me and I know Sunday night I'm not going to do ANYTHING!
Labor Day is around the corner. I might go to Hobby Lobby and purchase some fabric to take a stab at making a blazer for the fall.

Do you know the difference in Alpha and Beta males?

In the existence of mankind, the male species hunt, gathered and protected his family from all harms. He knows how to take charge and own it. Very responsible of his actions, well though-out through his peers, community and family. Alphas & Betas are strong in the retrospect of the male. You many have came across an Alpha being extremely charming, take charge, slightly arrogant and magnetic. The Beta is intelligent, friendly, take charge and someone you can open your emotions too. To put it in a simpler sense, the Alpha is the school quarterback and the Beta is the nerd. Nothing wrong with pining for these types when you find great qualities within. But there's another one, the Loser-Beta that is a poser for the "Alpha Male" breaking it down as the Damage Beyond Repair man or DBR.

This article explains it ALL! Much props to Toni for this article. :)

http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/return-of-the-beta-disguised-as-alpha-a-word-on-passive-aggressive-losers/

Yes, I WAS married to a passive aggressive loser tries to disguise himself as an Alpha male. I'm not cringing because I've been over it but as a warning to bw's that are finding love & marriage, rely on your intuition and ALWAYS use those VETTING SKILLS! You may know some in your family, work, friends, friends of friends, neighbor and so on. They will do anything to make you feel so good inside and out but when it comes times for the REALNESS, they will put you down without a notice. The ex-husband had a GOOD front, I mean perfectly crafted! They will do stuff in the beginning to SHOW you that they're a great catch but after trapping you, that's where the REAL HORROR HOUSE FUN STARTS! The image of Pennywise is well fitted. Genius! :)

 DBR's & losers are incapable of loving a woman, showing affection, being fathers & husbands, irresponsible and cannot manifest the fact that they're grown adult men. Grown adult men who have common sense, intelligence and know themselves will and NOT devolve in this type of behavior. They know its toxic, not worth the time and not programmed into them in any shape, fashion, form and idea. They also do not beat on their chest, sizing up a man, woman or child AND THE WORLD, broadcasting "I'm a good man! I got a penis and two balls and some hair surrounding that area."

 Narcissism is the most foul creature that walks the earth today. This creature can wreck havoc among others. I remember an argument during my marriage with the ex husband and in the mist, I called him a narcissist, egotistical shithead without the common knowledge of knowing his ass from the hole in the ground. Dumbfounded by this new drop in vocabulary and the meaning, hence he didn't pay attention in high school English class, he stopped dead in his tracks and asked me what did that mean? I watched Narcissism and him having a deep conversation.

Narcissism: "OH SHIT!!, she founded us out!"
Ex hub: (scratching his head nervously) "WHAT WE GONNA DO!!!!"
Narcissism: "QUICK! I have came up with a crafty plan, play dumb!"
Ex hub: (frantically searching for a object to fixate to avoid her stares) "I already did that! Come on! You can do better. Knowing her she already figured us out a year ago."
Narcissism: " I guess we leave and drink Jim Beam over our cousin's house. That escape route usually works and we can cuss her out, throw stuff at her and come back later. Blame Fox News and the economy for why we can't do better, be a family man, and there for the children. Oh yeah and the house is haunted, the reason why we stay up late watching T.O and Ochocinco. DAYUM!! that Mezkin chick is FIIOOONNEEE!!"
Ex hub: "Thanks pal! You're a lifesaver!"
Narcissism: "No prob, we in this together,FOREVER!" (invisible daps.)


You can see that the passive aggressive losers is a void draining your well-being, time, mentality and life. I threw my trash away long ago & wised up. My well being shot up A LOT! Only thing, I deal with through him is our son. 99% of whatever he says is crap that's extremely ignored and 1% he is serious about our son. I recognize these types of DBR's and losers and RUN away like Flo Jo but its up to YOU to hone those vetting skills and use them wisely.

"It" still scares me.

Happy Labor Day everyone!!!!