This past week have been interesting First, my bronchitis flared up and was out of a couple of days. no bueno! I'll be a monkey's uncle when a damn snake scooted his ass into my car. Yes, a snake.
As the story unfolds........
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| You asshole! |
A nice cool front came in Wednesday night. That Thursday morning, my daughter had an orthodontic appointment. The weather was humid but about rain. I kid you not that stupid snake wasn't there on the foot rest at my door. If I would have seen him, that sucka would have been knocked out and crushed to death with a gardening hoe. So the sunvabitch (you can still feel the emotion) rode for 30 plus miles from our house to Tyler. Stopping by McNasty for breakfast, I warn my daughter not to eat but to drink her orange juice. Making to the destination, she jumps out and I still eating my McNasty sausage & biscuit, taking a puff before going in. As I swung the door open WIDE with my coffee in my hand, BAM this damn fool. Millions of screams and the nice smelling cup of McDonalds java (I properly addressed them because they do have good coffee) goes SPLASH all over parking lot. Now you are wondering how come she didn't kick the damn thing out? First, I had on flip flops, second, I do not know the origin of this animal poisonous or non and last HOW IN THE HELL DID HE GET IN HERE??? that's the question I want to know.
Which I did some Scooby Doo investigating.
Dancing in the parking lot, screaming "Snake in my car!" a dad came to see what the problem. I told him and he seen the snake moving about under my front seat. WOW, he said. Good Luck and call the animal control. The employees was wondering why is someone screaming outside. And I've embarrassed my daughter, to her knowledge what the hell is wrong with my mother? In my panic mode, "There's a snake in my car." mouths dropped. Using the phone and the damn animal control cannot do the job because they only fool with dogs. Eye roll. Then on to the exterminator. I found one, sigh.....Dennis. Took Dennis 20 years to arrive at the office. During the 30 minutes of waiting for Dennis, one of the assistant's came out and tried her best to get him out. She's country strong, tis I am not! I'm country but not that country strong. A bug, dead under my shoe, scorpion murq'd in seconds. Any arachnid, bugs even lizards no problem. A snake, shiieettt you better for--ggeetttt.. Mr. Dennis came, looking very unsure which fit his description over the phone, unsure in person and looking like a big ol stand up in the road (that means you're slow/dumb.) Sigh...again over and over. The weather turned cold and rainy, the snake have made a place in my car now keeping warm. After a 10-15 minute look through, he can't find him. I said thanks and he didn't charge me for the visit. I have smoked at least 4 cigarettes this time, building my nerves and contributing to my relapse in bronchitis. The ride back, another 30+ miles and dropping my daughter off to school was a white knuckle ride of us having our feet in the seat, only my right leg to gas and break, no stops to the gas station and just ready to jump the hell out of the Jeep. I wouldn't care if the damn thing came out we had our window down to jump out. This shows how serious we are about snakes in the country, especially when it in an enclosed vehicle. Almost cussed her out when she said "Mom what if he's in the ceiling?" Gurlll do not play with me! There's a nice rip in the ceiling, I hate cloth ceilings and the possibilities are stranger than the truth. Dropping her off at school, I zzzooommmmeeddd on to the house and stayed in my house until after 2 p.m. Build up the courage to drive to work and proceed with the cleaning with Mr. Connie (mayne, I wish he was 40 years younger) and Richey. No avail, we didn't see him but my car was cleaned. hehehe. Now my car smells like moth balls, don't care I do not like snakes. "Tired of these m**f**n snakes in the car!" LOL.
Back to the investigation. I parked under a tree at school because it was hot and needed shade and to change up where I usually park at. This the only explanation to this rare opportunity of Mr. Snake to make a jump into my Jeep somewhere in the back. I parked in this location on Wednesday and seen his butt on Thursday. Hmmm now I'm wondering why this person kept honking at me on the street when driving out of the city limits, hitting the main highway. Either to warn me about "something" entering in my vehicle or that eating my ice cream sundae so sexy without the intention of doing that capture his interest? Who knows?
I had fun with our honking session.
Been sick for the past 2 weeks with bronchitis. The relapse was this weekend. Friday night of coughing, farting and all kinds of sexiness to me. Saturday, felt a little bit better but the shortness of breath and finding it difficult to breathe. Had a nice day at work but wondering why I'm tired so quickly. My feet hurt and hit the local nail shop for some R&R on my toes. Much needed and getting that crazy in grown toe nail that keeps bothering me over and over. Came home and nothing but crazy coughing and struggling to breathe. Headed to bed and over the night, I have taken my meds, broke out with my son's nebulizer, many trips to the bathroom and finally told my dad to take me to the hospital. Sleeping off and on, too weak to get up and get ready so I slept (tried) until mid-afternoon. Took my time to get ready, packed an over night bag just in case (learned from my son being sick) and Dad took me to the hospital and was in there for almost four hours. The doctor was pretty nice and of course the smoking lecture from one but he had to throw in how cute I am and so young looking for my age. Then he was off his shift and another one came in, gave me a prescription and a slightly different angle on smoking with one of those fake cigarettes and how I can wean myself off the nasty ones and to complete off smoking for good. Told me how he smoked for 40 years and I was like "wow dude, you look completely nice looking, meaning he was at least 60 something" even his teeth didn't look ragged out. I put on a smile, batted my eyelashes and a cute country flirt "I gotta take care of my tender lungs." He grinned from ear to ear with that one. Can't help it that I'm cute, even in my crappy condition still a cutie pie. LOL.. <---yes, he said I am cute too.
Plenty of popsicles, which the kids are crying why they can't have any, water, soups and I cheated with some eggs and bacon tonight. Still clear liquids, hydrate my body and plenty of rest. Shot off emails to my instructors, finishing up homework and getting ready for finals next month. Two weeks ahead and I gotta get on my A game to pass these classes. Striving for A's on my finals, my grades aren't bad. Just want a better GPA for being a sophomore there. Plenty of happy since I missed my 3rd exam the other week for being sick that Dr. Davis told me I can take it during finals and count as a regular grade. Thank you dude! He doesn't play with policy and very cut and dry.
Depeche Mode's Delta Machine isn't that bad. Not bad from the bad boys of the electro-synth new wave 80's. Soothe My Soul, pretty damn sexy and I wish Dave Gahan come in and break down my door. Make you wanna do a secci dance with a special someone. hahaha
I'm coming to see ya in Sept. 20th, can't wait to see Gahan do his magical elf dancing. He's totally mesmerizing to watch when performing. And taking my daughter too. Now this going to be interesting!!!
Peace & Blessings!
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