Excellent Sites and Facebook page!!!

Morning!!! More excellent sites and Facebook like pages to join:

http://www.facebook.com/BlackWomenDeserveBetter

Home site: http://blackwomendeservebetter.com/

http://www.swirlingandmarriage.com/pillars-of-salt-what-a-waste-of-time/

I  have a full day ahead starting  off with my morning green tea.
Have  a Happy Monday!! :)

Love & Blessings
K.

I love Star Trek but do I see Captain Kirk and the crew saving me??

I'm a big star Star Trek fan or Trekkie for short. Being in love with  Mr. Spock (hahha, you thought  I  was going to say Kirk), Mr. Sulu and Bones I loved these men for their intelligence and bravery on the show. Okay,  I was a bit smitten by Captain Kirk. Years later the revival of Star Trek franchise of TNG (The Next Generation)  with Captain Picard, Will Riker, Data, Warf, and Geordi. At first, I was not happy about  these new crew members because they couldn't compete with  the  old  cast but they won me over with the subject: The People & the stories.

The other night I was watching the ninth Star  Trek movie called "Insurrection." Not the most liked  movie but showed  me a  new light in the storyline. You should check it out, even if you're not a sci-fi fan  like  me.  Understanding the message in the movie shows how much the Bakkoo people, ditched the old ways of  thinking and welcome new ways to make sure peace, love and QUALITY living for EVERYBODY!!!

We've got realize that nobody isn't going to help  us, we have to band  together to  help each  other. Some are not on the mode with us, some need help and some will turn their backs against us. Believe in the powers that be, we are becoming a upward, mobile beautiful women that are desirable, loving, caring and marriage  /dating individuals. This isn't new but an actual fact.
http://elegantblackwoman.blogspot.com/2012/09/black-women-must-advertise-their-unique.html

I love this article and 200% co-signed, stamped and seal with love. Our lovely neighbor of the North puts it down like nobody's business.  I urge those who come across my blog, go check her out!

I read this a couple days  ago:  http://blackwomenwhitemen.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/should-you-be-skeptical-of-white-men-who-only-date-black-women/
*This will be the LAST link that  I will put up because of the way how the comments are negative, spun  out of control and major TROLLING!*

In my response to this, not really because if you vet men of different cultures who has a preference for black women.  The ONLY skepticism is if the guy, "want the "black experience", I heard that "black coochie" is  good so on and so forth. Meaning  you  need  to  run the hell  away from that type of person. That goes for Tyrone, Tito, Todd, Tzu-Chang and them who loves that "phat" azz only.

 One person said "  don’t understand what’s the problem with WM who only date BW. What’s wrong with a preference? BW are always shooting themselves in the foot. Have you ever heard a WW express caution about dating BM who only date WW? Doesn’t make any sense."

This  person  made the most  logical point and  there's more on here  who do that. But one lady that just kept spewing and spewing about how much wm treated her, blah blah and that she's perfectly happy with a bm. Good for her!!!  Nobody isn't knocking her down with her decision and preference but she's  trying to knock  those down  who do desire a QLL mate despite what shade he is.  I'm sorry  that  you  had such a crappy experience  in dating  IR  but  you  shouldn't  inject your harsh poisons to all  of your sisters.
 She also said " I'm black first and woman second."  Ummmm really? Think about it; when you was born did the ob/gyn whose handling your birth said "IT"S A BLACK GIRL?" NO!  S/he said "IT"S A GIRL!" The order is: Human being, gender and race but some bw view themselves as race, gender and human being.  Quit this" alien/superhuman" thinking! It's ridiculous! Only person that I know in comics (my dorkiness is showing) is Superman. He looked human (wasn't) and his race (Kryptonian.)  The power of the sun made him Superman/ Ka-El and his alter ego Clark Kent was acting human to blend it  with society.
I couldn't read anymore spewing defective comments, made my  head swim and I knew better. :/

You gonna let one person who had a bad experience decide your perception on dating  outside your culture?

 I  had that moment myself long ago after an incident at the hospital.  I had pains, throwing up bile and  food  turns out that  my gallbladder was acting  up and the stones moving around violently. I was  dating  a wm at the time and he acted an ass, looking around to see  if "any" of  his family or friends  knew  he was dating a bw. He thought I  was pregnant (we always had safe sex) before the doctor came to tell my prognosis. After finding out my gallbladder he still was on "dickhead" mode  (Excuse me for that). Sad ain't it? When something scary happens, his true colors come out, instead of being there and  making sure I was okay,  his fears got the  best of him.   After surgery  ( in another town) , he called to check up on me, I answered him short, terse words. After that,  I said  my good byes to dating men  that wasn't black.  That was 8 years  ago.  Do  you  know how much hurt  and  anger I  harbored towards  him?? A LOT!  Well going through a rotten marriage  and a the cusp of  separating from the ex  2 1/2 years ago, he found  me on Facebook, wrote me, called me and we talked about  it. He apologized!!!  I told him I'd already forgave him.  Nothing  but  love and  understanding. He wrote  me a  couple months back asking me  how was I doing and wishing  me nothing  but  the  best in life and the right guy will  come in my life soon because I DESERVE IT!

I  should  have been that bitter black woman/ Sistah Solijah and told  him that I don't want his apology, cussed him out and kept hating wm? Joining the masses of  the naysayers to keep our sistahs in check and keep hating 'de evil white man?' But that's not me. I have a kind heart, believe in the goodness of people. Mistakes happen, feelings are hurt but what can you do is to forgive yourself and  move on. Some can't do that but keep the pain, "the beast of burden" of why  and how come you can not move on just because of something terrible happened in your past. The same "authentic poison"  that keep bw's in pain now when naysayers throw up the 'de evil  white man'  mantra. 

Another instance, in  the last blog, "Another bites the dust" I went to a local popular bar about 30 minutes away after work. They had live music, playing groovy 70's, 80's and 90's cover songs, go  go dancers, singles and couples everywhere dancing. I gotten my drink, feeling the vibe  of the music. After bopping away, I had to use  the restroom. Before I came out of the stall,  two ww came in talking.  I nodded at them went to the sink, wash my hands.  
 Brunette: "Do  you REALLY need to use it??"
Blonde: "Naww, not  really, but you can  (catty attitude.)

At this moment, I  tuned  them out. Because it  was a Mean Girls-esque call out on  me.They wanted me  to  react  to  this. I didn't stink it up, 'tow" tha commode up, if  they sat after a black girl they have color on  their butts or anything. I was nicely dressed, mannered and gave them a nod of  being  friendly. I  could  have 'acted  black"  on  them but they do not know  that  I've  went to an  all white school and recognize this behavior.  If tha "sistah" came  out I would  have  ended up at the county jail across the street. They would have  won, I would have  lost. Never let fools get you and never give them the sadistic satisfaction!  So sad that grown women still act in 'remedial  jr/high  school' mode  ( and I  work in the school district!)  And these ww are in their mid- thirties (i'm 34)!! 


Sharing two stories about my experience,  I still date men from different cultures and talk  to them. One thing that I re-learned is VET VET VET  and trained in the deadly arts of common sense!!! LOL.  My  mother of late, recognized my  big heart and the power of kindness within me from a child. She reminded and harness that energy for  me  to  see personally. I'm one very  happy woman to have the women in my life, through bad and good influencing me either late catching or early  on to mold me to the person that I am!!

Today, I thought about  it:  Instead of IR dating, say dating because it is dating/marriage among human beings. I'm not too fond of labels, I wonder if I can rename my blog. But  I might  keep  it due to some that  are new to this; need a good laugh, enhanced & common critical thinking, a bit stern like Big Mama's information that will help, enlighten and broaden many many minds.

Next  week,  I'm going to do a fashion blog. I love  fashion, that's my  passion and major in college. My  grandfather is sick since Friday and doing well in the hospital. This weekend have been a major!!! 
Love and Blessing!!
K. :)

Insightful Reads and Critical Thinking!

What a helluva weekend! I worked  7 days straight! I'm tired but I gotta get back to work around 2pm  today  and afterwards wait for my daughter to come back from her volleyball game.


I have ran  across  a page on Facebook called: Black Women with Other Brothers.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Black-Women-With-Other-Brothers/180996238697983

DDR, tickles me, most and IMPORTANTLY letting us fellow swirlers and newbies focusing on VETTING!

Betty Chambers website is a great one!
http://bettychambers.com/

Eugenia:
http://marriedgirlinaweirdworld.wordpress.com/

And of course  Ms Evia, Halima and Khadija
http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/2012/09/bwiimr-slice-yes-even-very-rich-bw-need-love-too-dont-let-the-political-become-personal.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BlackFemaleInterracialMarriageEzine+%28Black+Female+Interracial+Marriage+Ezine%29

http://sojournerspassport.com/<----Recommend her book too!! A must read!!!

http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/

For all  my Southern black women that are still in the "woods" or coming out of the woods, please read the knowledge. Knowledge is power and knowing  that it's a useful tool, for your aspect of life. You  know the horror, see it and may have dealt with it. Never too late for change and heal.

Being a long time swirler and was married to a DBR bm due to poorly vetting skills, I know what I'm talking about.  Truth do set you  free but the truth hurts  like hell!!! Lies are pretty, sugar coated to make you feel comfortable, stay in your place and never question the alternative.

Also read about the online players; Online dating is great but they're are cyber players.  I have 'met' a couple and wasn't worth my time.  Take the time to screen  BW/WM IR chat rooms and social pages carefully. I have deleted myself from at least 5 this year do to DBR's and attacking on bw's.  Do not be fooled with the wigger types either. If you wanted to date a wigger then why not a black man? I never was and remotely attracted  to wiggers, Yep I said it "Wiggers!" Until one time after a bad breakup, I've gotten with a wigger (rebound) and it's the worse.  Any DBR non-black man that wants to act with swag, hip-hop, gangstaish, thuggish, a member of the ABC crew and tries to "fit" into so called black culture , trying to "holla at a sista" you need to send his ass packin back to Blackistan.   If you want to do the wigger types be my guest, because I do not support those guys  in  any fashion. <-----My skin crawled.

Anyhoos, its time for me to leave for work!

Have a wonderful safe and blessed week!!!

Alphas & Betas in my soup?

I have a long weekend ahead of me and I know Sunday night I'm not going to do ANYTHING!
Labor Day is around the corner. I might go to Hobby Lobby and purchase some fabric to take a stab at making a blazer for the fall.

Do you know the difference in Alpha and Beta males?

In the existence of mankind, the male species hunt, gathered and protected his family from all harms. He knows how to take charge and own it. Very responsible of his actions, well though-out through his peers, community and family. Alphas & Betas are strong in the retrospect of the male. You many have came across an Alpha being extremely charming, take charge, slightly arrogant and magnetic. The Beta is intelligent, friendly, take charge and someone you can open your emotions too. To put it in a simpler sense, the Alpha is the school quarterback and the Beta is the nerd. Nothing wrong with pining for these types when you find great qualities within. But there's another one, the Loser-Beta that is a poser for the "Alpha Male" breaking it down as the Damage Beyond Repair man or DBR.

This article explains it ALL! Much props to Toni for this article. :)

http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/return-of-the-beta-disguised-as-alpha-a-word-on-passive-aggressive-losers/

Yes, I WAS married to a passive aggressive loser tries to disguise himself as an Alpha male. I'm not cringing because I've been over it but as a warning to bw's that are finding love & marriage, rely on your intuition and ALWAYS use those VETTING SKILLS! You may know some in your family, work, friends, friends of friends, neighbor and so on. They will do anything to make you feel so good inside and out but when it comes times for the REALNESS, they will put you down without a notice. The ex-husband had a GOOD front, I mean perfectly crafted! They will do stuff in the beginning to SHOW you that they're a great catch but after trapping you, that's where the REAL HORROR HOUSE FUN STARTS! The image of Pennywise is well fitted. Genius! :)

 DBR's & losers are incapable of loving a woman, showing affection, being fathers & husbands, irresponsible and cannot manifest the fact that they're grown adult men. Grown adult men who have common sense, intelligence and know themselves will and NOT devolve in this type of behavior. They know its toxic, not worth the time and not programmed into them in any shape, fashion, form and idea. They also do not beat on their chest, sizing up a man, woman or child AND THE WORLD, broadcasting "I'm a good man! I got a penis and two balls and some hair surrounding that area."

 Narcissism is the most foul creature that walks the earth today. This creature can wreck havoc among others. I remember an argument during my marriage with the ex husband and in the mist, I called him a narcissist, egotistical shithead without the common knowledge of knowing his ass from the hole in the ground. Dumbfounded by this new drop in vocabulary and the meaning, hence he didn't pay attention in high school English class, he stopped dead in his tracks and asked me what did that mean? I watched Narcissism and him having a deep conversation.

Narcissism: "OH SHIT!!, she founded us out!"
Ex hub: (scratching his head nervously) "WHAT WE GONNA DO!!!!"
Narcissism: "QUICK! I have came up with a crafty plan, play dumb!"
Ex hub: (frantically searching for a object to fixate to avoid her stares) "I already did that! Come on! You can do better. Knowing her she already figured us out a year ago."
Narcissism: " I guess we leave and drink Jim Beam over our cousin's house. That escape route usually works and we can cuss her out, throw stuff at her and come back later. Blame Fox News and the economy for why we can't do better, be a family man, and there for the children. Oh yeah and the house is haunted, the reason why we stay up late watching T.O and Ochocinco. DAYUM!! that Mezkin chick is FIIOOONNEEE!!"
Ex hub: "Thanks pal! You're a lifesaver!"
Narcissism: "No prob, we in this together,FOREVER!" (invisible daps.)


You can see that the passive aggressive losers is a void draining your well-being, time, mentality and life. I threw my trash away long ago & wised up. My well being shot up A LOT! Only thing, I deal with through him is our son. 99% of whatever he says is crap that's extremely ignored and 1% he is serious about our son. I recognize these types of DBR's and losers and RUN away like Flo Jo but its up to YOU to hone those vetting skills and use them wisely.

"It" still scares me.

Happy Labor Day everyone!!!!