My Grandfather "Big Daddy" the King is gone.

Love you!!!!!

Tomorrow is the MLK day, this past Saturday we laid another King to rest.

On January 14th, my grandfather passed away around 6:30 p.m. from a heart attack.  I'm glad my grandmother went outside to check on the laundry but only to find him wedged between the coffee table and the love seat when she came back. My father helped him to the hospital and he was gone.  I was at work and my daughter had band practice, she helped me clean the rest of the restrooms and off we go home early to get her to bed.  The porch light was on and two cars was outside the house. Odd, I thought why are there cars around this late at her house. Never dawned on me, those crusty ass no good dogs didn't bark, they didn't wag their tails when my daughter called for them.  Walking inside the house, my uncle was on the phone telling someone "think about the good memories", a cousin on the couch sniffing and my grandmother looking very sad.  My eyes turned to that empty lazy boy chair. I thought he was in the bed sleep, finally came to my senses that my grandfather was gone.  I ran outside letting out a bellow, couldn't care less if it was thirty degrees outside, Big Daddy was gone.

Son, Red Rooster, Red, Big Daddy all those nickname we've called him throughout the years, our King is gone from our Pondarosa.  He loves watching westerns. One show that stuck out as a child is Bonanaza. He reminds me of Ben Cartwright; fair, protected his family from harm, raised cattle.  And a bunch of shotguns!!! LOL...  He didn't graduated from high school only to drop out and take care of his younger sister.  Big Daddy served in the Korean War when enlisted in the Army. Worked around in the Beaumont/Port Arthur area and then on becoming a truck driver.  He married my grandmother on Feb 1953, had four sons and one daughter.

He wasn't a man of words but his actions spoke louder than ever. The goofiest laugh and these crazy saying " Nothing but the leaves shaking on the trees in the cool breeze." Hmm, I gotten it right this time.  My grandfather was buried yesterday with the veterans' color guard sounding off in the distance after the bugle was played, his body was finally laid to rest. He had a soldier's funeral as his comrades shot three times in the air, my brother and I saluted.  Wasn't paying attention if anyone else did but I gave him my respects for all what he did in his life and country. I didn't cry because I spent as much time with him. I was through crying for two days and facing it is the final see ya soon is what gave me the peace.

They don't make men like him anymore.  Those guys grew up in a different era where times were hard. He lived during Jim Crow era, Civil Rights and seeing the first mixed race president in the White House. May not seem crucial but for him, meant ALOT!  Men like my granddad can work, get a big ol gash on their arm, wrap it up with a cloth and kept working. They protect their families from harm and never let any stinkin' body touch a hair on their heads. He was the type of man that did the work and made sure that my grandmother, his wife and his children never went hungry. Remembering my grandmother told me they lived on eighty dollars a month. A MONTH?? That was a lot and now its not crap now.  She also told me the house they lived in, a shotgun house: one bedroom, kitchen, bath and living room.  The meaning shotgun house is if you shot through the house, the bullet will go through the front and out the back door.  When it rained, the roof was so bad it leaked and leaked. She cried and cried every time it rained and seeing her cry, he bought a house for her.  He couldn't make it without my grandmother, that was his baby. When they first met, he lied about his age saying he was 19 but only 24 and she was only 17 years old. Also he had a girl that he was seeing at the time. In the mist of it all, my grandmother won!  She didn't act a damn fool, stupid nor petty kinda "stole" him away from the other lady. My grandmother knew that she was about to embark on a journey with him and he knew that it was going to be an glorious journey and both made the right decision with each other. I've never heard them have heated arguments, cussing each other out, none of that crap. Their marriage is and still the model for me to have a great relationship one day with that quality man.  I don't care how traditional, old, out of date their generation is but I kept my ears open and watched. How many of you have grandparents/parents/aunts & uncles have marriages that stick over 40 years??  Being from divorced parents, I didn't look up to them as much for a relationship advices, mostly my questions went my grandmother and still today. May sound mean, slightly underminding my parents but I want to see the REAL McCOY!

I have plenty good memories of him.  During his two years in and out of the hospital, his mind wasn't functioning. Bout of dementia and Alzheimer's troubled him with a double dose of blocked arteries. His cholesterol was one point over the normal range and  a doctor substituting for his regular doctor increased his iron & cholesterol medication. He tickled the mess out of me that day, waiting for the doctor at the VA hospital in Shreveport. Took so damn long!!! I bought him a soda, gave it to him "After this soda, WE'RE LEAVING!!!" LOL..You should have seen the tenacity of my grandpa down the crap out of his soda. So after his soda, we are ready to blow this popsicle stand until "When I get through using the bathroom, WE'RE LEAVING!" LMAO!!!
Boy, this man here!!! Couldn't do nothing but laugh.

He also helped my children and I move out of hell house two years ago when the ex-husband kicked us out.  Do you think he was going to act a fool when my grandfather was outside? Hell naw!  I know he talked a bunch of crap about how old and stupid he was do you think he cared? Nope! My grandfather would have beat the brakes, changed his tires, rotated his struts if he ever laid a hand on me and my children in his presence.  Big Daddy gave me his Jeep to drive since we left with the clothes on our back and what little we salvaged during our rescue. My grandfather always rescued me when I called. Even when the ex-husband refused to take me to work when down to one car and the money wasn't pouring in due to his laziness, he still came and helped. My father the same but something about my grandfather who shows courage and know-how without any complaints is the reason why.

I am very greatful and proud that my children and I spent as much time with him in these two years since my divorce and getting back on my feet. Especially my children. I told them "Spend time with your great-grandparents because they know things, learn from them and exercises those lessons and stories."  My daughter had the most exposure with both because they helped me with her and my son's time with him was crucial.  Those two together! Oh gosh, they get to popping each other in our car rides but Sevyn always gave Big Daddy a hug no matter what.



So here's to Lee C. Lacy, my Big Daddy: A father, husband, grandfather and friend.

Dedicated "Couleurs" to him since we always jam on M83 in the truck during our dog food and chicken feed runs to town.