Another one bites the dust......

This week have been hectic due to kids going back to school, work and all other junk but I'm taking it easy because I'm not going to push myself hard because I have to take care of myself.

Another one bites the dust:

I've corresponded with a guy in my area for a whole week. On one dating site, he contacted me and let me know that my profile is 99% compatible with him. Funny, intelligent and friendly, we hit it off until it was time to meet face to face. Welp, he blew me off. The first thing is that he wasn't interested in the first place and putting on a front. Two, I think the whole thing about dating another woman from a different culture other than his and Asian gave him cold feet because that SHIT got real as hell. And third, he's an asshole. To write people off and never explain why, shows how much he has respect for women in general. His lost not mine. I politely wrote to him that is a sign of disrespect not to show consideration to the other person's time. I deleted his number and email all together. You can say, the Creator is watching carefully over me. Understanding this, I'm better off and not finding disappointment down the road.
Though he's Buddhist, I guess Buddha isn't gonna bless him anytime soon. LOL.

When you have DBR's and doubters and such, shut the door forever. They have no VALUE whatsoever to a woman. Being raised and living in the South, we run into those so much that it shuts us down, where we become the DOUBTERS in ourselves. What I mean by that, is we doubt, am I pretty enough? did I say something wrong? is he attracted to me? why did he do that? The list goes on and on. That's why self-esteem is important!!! High self-esteem will kick in to tell you that you're not ugly,fat, crazy or whatever. High self-esteem will zone in to let yourself know that you are you and that you're created in a highly manner that separates you from others. Individualism stands out better than cookie cutter people. Knowing yourself worth will attract a QLL man that KNOWS he's doing GOOD for himself. He wouldn't care what people think about, he knows that he with the most gorgeous, loving, caring woman on the whole planet and nothing else matters. Being yourself around your family, friends, associates and the world will attract people that can ACTUALLY SEE that you're human.

http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com/news-feed/stupid-study-why-black-women-are-fatter-dumber-more-manly-and-less-attractive-than-others/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheBlackGirlsGuideToWeightLoss+%28A+Black+Girl%27s+Guide+To+Weight+Loss%29&utm_content=FaceBook

This "person" went all through the motions of "careful" research to once again, put the black woman under a microscope and find everything wrong with her. This makes me laugh to the FULLEST! Instead of finding common DNA strains that causes cancer,AIDS and other life-threatening diseases to help EVERYONE, he simply took a dumbass chances to post stupidity. Folks, this man is a moron and there are morons who are going to read this and RUN WITH IT! This is a naysayer, doubter, woman hater and racist DBR man. Inflicted his small minded stupidity into a "intelligent" article because he's part of the science world. Bah! Really? Mighty strange that most bw's are educated, intelligent, beautiful, accomplished, marrying wm/non-black men from different cultures, and living well. All I gotta say: Black women keep it up! Laugh freely and prove these people wrong without explain a DAMN thing. These people do not know you on a daily basis and keep REACHING into the abyss to put you down. When you make people mad like this, they will come up with EVERY AMMUNITION to shoot you down.

My Southern Black women, continue to do EVERYTHING freely! Yeah those who are still trying to rehash the Ghosts of the South, will and ALWAYS fail miserably since the Civil War. Not only those who are soooo proud of the South( proud of the wrong things) but those DBR bm that keeps that invisible shackle to remind you of those ghosts.

Last time I checked, dead people stay forever in the grave.

Dating websites and SUPPORT bw's.

How many of you guys are on dating websites? Two? Five? or none? I'm on a couple myself. I've joined Match.com last month and suffice to say, a wink and two emails. I don't give up easily and knowing there's someone out there for me. But why so hard?

Maybe because someone whispered negative remarks and tortes to wm/nonblack men about black women? Maybe some have diaherra of the mouth when it comes to opening up the conversation? or none of the above.

I take this into consideration that it's kinda hard to date but being optimistic about dating and such is no brainer. For one, I'm getting back into the dating world and ready to have fun and later a relationship down the road with a QLL man. Just one MAN not a lot. Two, I've opened myself, not being a mystery about who I am but a fun, loving, honest WOMAN. Not just a "black" woman but a WOMAN! Which comes into the term of "preference." I've always been an open minded, loving and joyful individual but you have those who can't see this due to society's views on bw's.

My preference is a man who have great qualities about themselves. I have no quarrels about what culture they're from. I love a good looking man no doubt from every part of the world but the getting to the nitty gritty is how that man is going to treat you and cherish you in his lifetime. Well all have our pet peeves, idiosyncrasies, turn on's and off's but what's the core of wanting a quality person in your life?

For all my country bw's that live in rural areas, it does seem that we've are at the end of the brick road. But we're not. Gotta take chances and risks, smart one at that to let your light shine. Some of you may complain about Tyrone and Jamal not acting right but Tyrone and Jamal isn't thinking about you. Which leads to this the other night on a Facebook social group that I've joined.


SUPPORT SUPPORT YOUR FELLOW BW!!

A young lady posted a comment that was made by a DBR bm about her preference. Point blank, he said as I remember " They brainwashed you to think that a white man will love you and white men are wimps to deal with black women." An appalling comment and few seconds later while listening to Ellie Goulding, I had to come in and support my fellow bw about this "poison." And what poison indeed. She's in a relationship with a wm and have a child but for a DBR bm to say this to her, he doesn't know her and trolling, trying to tear her spirit. She reported him and they deleted his account. AWESOME! But the mainly, the emotional helpful support from US, black women to pick our sister up. Even the white men in the group supported HER! The sting of this jr. high remedial moron still injected his venom into this woman. Unaware, unannounced, he struck her like a snake. I urge for my beautiful black women not to indulged into conversations with men of this nature. He was pissed because he felt, her being a black woman that he can do whatever and say whatever to her. True there are black men that have great upstanding raising and respectful and WILL defend black women when being attacked, critiqued and criticized. I applauded these men to the upmost because they know this AND SUPPOSE TO DO THIS. But there are damaged, broken men who will do their best to stamp out our spirit. For what? To see if there's a "loyal sista" that will do and bend over backwards for a "brotha." I don't see too many "brothas" that are protecting black women. Have you seen a bm that's going out with a ww/hw/aw showing her off proudly? And then when you're dating your wm/nonblack man showing you off proudly, the bm have steam come out of their ears? Because you're dating a man whom chose YOU and not a brotha? Hmmmmmm.... Seems he have a problem with you and you not having a problem with him. That's ass backwards. So if you have an aunt, sister, cousin, a friend, mom or even you who dates IR or in a relationship, support her. She gonna catch flack for it but be there for her. When you have the love and support from a stable emotional group, the outlook is better and you're going to excel. One cannot save everybody but as a team, we can build that network, STRONG network where nothing can harm us in any fashion, idea or form.

So next time when Tyrone and Jamal, trying to put pressure on you on why you're not attracted to him, don't argue with the fool, tell him ONE TIME and RUN like the wind. Cuz they want a jr. high kiddie fight with you. Digress in this, you will LOSE and cut your LIFEFORCE down to a trickle.

Busy Busy Busy!

Since my first post back in April I have been extremely busy!

Rearranging my school schedule which to the point of withdrawing this month so I can go to a public university, hence less money to spend and affordable for me to finish up my degree.

Taking a break, going to Rammstein concert in May, FUN FUN FUN!!

Focusing on "me" so I can be a better person and parent to my children.
Taking different interests & hobbies to see what fits and stick to them.

Alas, I have been emailing and video chatting to a guy that lives in Ireland, yes he's cute and yes very interesting indeed! :)

Though I am busy, I manage to have 2 months off from my current job and work my other job on weekends. Engaging myself in different interests, raising my children, school and other aspects that shows enrichment my life.

This past Saturday, I worked and suppose to meet up with a fellow that's in my area for drinks and meetup. Give you a backstory, we've interacted on a dating site, called each other, text and arranged a meet up of bike riding in the park after I gotten back from Dallas. Mine you, he's single and have a child. So that arrangement fell out and I went to a local RenFaire and met some wonderful people from Canada.
Fast forward... Thursday he text me and wanted to do another meet up. Ok??
I let him know what time I got off work and meet me at a local bar in our town.
The Spidey-sense told me to invite a coworker just in case another "empty" promise came about.

Around 8:20 pm I called and spoke to see if he was coming, nope because he couldn't find a sitter, BUUTTTTTT he can "meet" me somewhere but not in public. HA! I said "okay talk to you later!" hung the phone up quick. I called up my co-worker and said "AT tha bar gurrlll, roll tide!!" lol. I had fun choppin' it up and being social. She's a hoot and a half. I didn't let that phase me from what this "moron" said to me earlier.

So what's the point of this story? A stupid guy that have issues. A woman that want to have fun and offers the best within herself, decides to just let this go because she felt that the guy isn't serious and probably want sex. Oh yes he's white but in relativity if he was black, he STILL gotten the same cold shoulder that I gave that guy. If you recognize there's no difference in any color & culture of men that do this and figured it out with common sense then you're on the money. If you didn't then you need to figure out more than just this. Its nothing but the same ol thing that happens when you're dating. You get flaky guys, crappy guys, no type of committing to a thing guys but wanna meet up for "personal" dick reasons. Sometimes you get stood up for nothing. Don't take it personal because there's a slew of great guys out there in the WORLD that love to be in the presence of YOU!

If the guy have kids, he would have taken the time to find a babysitter, paid them and met up with you because he WOULD be interested in you on a different level than sex. For the women who have children, if asked out, did you or not take the time to find a sitter to watch your children for 2-3 hours to socialize with the opposite sex? So if they couldn't find one do they call YOU back and (if lying or not) tell you and reschedule? I know a mature adult would.

The outcome: I texted him to let him know, this is the 2nd meet up that have failed again, never to text or try to set anything up and hopes that he find the right person & good luck. I've never met him in person and truly I'm glad I didn't. I didn't go "BLACK" LOL on him either. Because that's stupid and doesn't solve the issue. I've shown him that I'm a lady no matter if he was too ashamed to be seen in public and I don't do those guys, in no shape,fashion or form. I have much MAD respectfor myself to let a "suckabusta" get me down in dating and love. Always have faith, friends and support no matter what in ALL aspects in your life.

Some of you ladies may have experiences this with a wm and gotten sour to the fact of dating globally but if you went back to bm just because of this and still getting the SAME amount of treatment & EXCUSES from Tyrone, Isaiah and them, 3 am booty calls?, I'm tired can we eat at your place?, I don't feel like going to the movies, let watch some at my house, Umm whenever you can stop by my house after dark or whatever the case, YOU STILL GETTING THE FUNKY TREATMENT! Because Tyrone, Isaiah, Todd,Jeff THINK ALIKE! Only thing different is pigment and names but these DBR (damage beyond repair) men, if you let them in, they WILL wreck your mentality. Don't let them IN under NO circumstances and STAY AWAY FROM THEM! Yep they do pop up every once in a while but always be on the lookout and RECOGNIZE these behaviors from these men.

Oh yeah the cute,sexy interesting pen pal from Ireland is funny. He keeps me cracking up whenever we chat. You can say I met him on "accident" on a dating site where I blog. He commented on a blog about "Dating: Is the Penis pic the new FACE of Dating?" Writing out his opinion about the situation, he felt that some social pressure of dating from men and women is off kilter and some getting backwards about themselves in attracting a person using genitalia pictures. He did make a valid point about that and I emailed him privately. We kid about that subject but in respect he like my sense of humor. We've been at it for 7 weeks now and every time he emails. I even talked to him video chatting on computers. My my I said, handsome, have moral are similar to mine, raising and have common sense. He and I always keep an open-mind mind about ourselves and the views of the world. Yeah, I geeked out a bit in my pink doo rag but we've video chatted for 3 hours. He didn't care how I looked too. That's refreshing. I came home from work and gotten into my relaxing clothes and sleeping do rag.Shows that he was interested in me and not the way how I looked after work. And kept a smile on my face when we talked. Though the audio is a bit off and him being 6 hours away, we still kept the conversation flowing. He's tha coolest!!

Ladies that live in the Southern region, keep an open mind about love and dating. If you find one overseas, in your back yard or a state away. Keep finding things about him to see if the compatibility is right or lacking. Doesn't take a genius but the "know it" of yourself in what you want out of a potential partner. 1 out 3 isn't going to cut it. You want 3 out of 3 or more in what you want in a partner that going to love all of you. I'm still on "stumbling" mode. I haven't went out on a date yet due because I've had 3 guys that flaked out on me. Doesn't stop me from my goals. Sure its tough, I rather stick to my moral compass, rather than let it go and joining in with people that complain, get hurt and take any fly by night guy just because of loneliness. I am alone but making sure that I have hobbies and social things to keep a float, rather than focus on bullshit called DRAMA. That's why I have zero drama. I don't want drama to keep me in the loop with friends every 2-3 months on why this guy isn't what I thought blah blah blah..They feel sorry for me, I put it on my Facebook status, keep changing my status to "relationship" to "single" about every 3-6 months. Does that sound familiar? Do you have a friend or yourself that does this on Facebook/ Twitter/other social medias? Seems like folks aren't happy about anything. Publishing to the whole world about how crappy this guy is. Hell! You picked him!! Most of the time, your so called friends are laughing it up because of your misfortunes of picking the wrong man. They're labeling you as we speak if you do this. Not a great look and they will keep on laughing if you shut up about your "relationship" problems. Only YOU can change your situation, if you want it.

Quality doesn't come at the Dollar Store for cheap only Quantity.

Take example of fine china, expensive, hand crafted, limited editions of being made, last longer and is passed down to generation to generation. Why is it made to last longer? Why the people take the best of the best with excellent talent to make these? Why the price expensive? Because of the hours, patience, time and quality is INVESTED! Why not INVESTED in QUALITY? Quality is better in the long run and last forever when taken care of by the right person that understands. So when investing in quality, your making the right choice in a person for longer lasting loving relationship and passing it down to your children for them to invest in quality.
Does that make sense?
Well I'm about to jet and do some homework its 7:10am. A Happy Birthday to my mother that passed 11 years ago. She'll be 52 this year if living.

I hope everyone have a wonderful summer and stay blessed!!

My name is Keesh, I have about a couple of blogs on here. I do not have any followers (that much ha!) but sharing something that I know means so much.

Yes, I'm from the South, Texas that is!! The deep woods of East Texas (The Iron Pine Curtain as I call it!) And I have two children, by two men, one from a previous relationship and the other from my first marriage. My daughter's father is white and my son's father is black. What makes this interesting is not too many black women around here have children that are from a different background. Hmmmm, sure I'm use to the looks and comments for so long doesn't bother me. But the thing is, I'm saying is the quality of men around here. Especially for black women who live in rural areas in the South. Sure the city black woman can move and mingle among the masses of men but what about the country girl? She does want that quality of life like her sisters of all colors but why do she feel perplexed?




For starters:
1. You still are in the "bounds" of the black community that doesn't protect you and your children.
2. You are still tied down in the "mental" prison to take care of your people and still feel tired.
3. After high school, you got with Craig, Anthony and all and had a slew of kids, which none of them aren't caring or partially caring for them.
4. Your "friends" keep you in line with the "black" check to see how real you are.
5. You still blame the fact your father/mother was the victim of the streets, drugs and all and that's why you are the way you are.
6. You stay in the church to find a good man and none of those "good men" aren't there. Either old, too old, reformed players or closeted gay.
7. Because you grew up in the country and feel that "I can't make it because it's too hard" or someone crushed your dreams( a friend, relative, acquaintance, boyfriend) that the city life isn't for you and you'll end up on the streets.

IF you answered ONE out of the seven, you need to WAKE UP!
First you need to take time to ask yourself: Why am I lied to? Why am I in pain? Why I can't have a great quality man that going to respect, love and cherish me?
Second, seek GOOD support from people that DO matter in your life! Even a counselor!! They over reasonable rates for you budget.
Third, consider dating outside the "WOODS."

But Keesh, that takes too much time & hard!

Well, If you want quality person in your life, enjoy living not SURVIVING, not putting up with "just any ol' thang" then you need to consider the following to live a prosperous fulfilled life.



For us rural area black women consider the following:
1. Date outside your race, doesn't mean rednecks or thugs. Please do not come back "Well I dated a redneck and he uses the "n" word. Okay, dummy, use your common sense. That's like messing with a snake and you know its a snake but you still have a GREAT chance of getting bit. Being aware that it ANOTHER whole different country than the one you live in. If you have doubts about dating IR, ummm you have Africans, Haitians, Jamaicans other black men that AREN'T from the United States born or raised. May not be interracial but intercultural. Yep,they are black you know and have different values and morals that do mirror our Southern upbringing.

2. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Meaning, be the most pleasant, flirty beautiful woman that you are! I didn't say go into "hoe phase" but watch how a white woman, hispanic, asian women (GASP! Yep,I said it!) how they mingle and float like a BUTTERFLY in the room. See all the men come to their response? WOW! Surprising isn't?


3. Online dating sites and match maker sites: Good ways to get "out there" and mingle. Watch out for scammers and the types that you deal with in the REAL world.



4. Go do things that you normally wouldn't go to: If you like to travel, GO! Don't be afraid! Any outdoor sports/activities? Go try them out. You only hindering yourself to finding quality guys when you stay selective. Well I don't like bugs?, They have indoor things too, and why are you complaining about bugs? You live in the country, right? LOL.




5. The most important is VET! What is vetting? Vetting is what you want in your life when its comes to career, friends, acquaintances, dating and finding the right guy. It ties in with common sense and what your mother,grandmother or aunts been telling you right all this time but you simply ignore it because you felt that its not up with the times. Vetting is positive, what YOU want without the hassles of anything cropping up crazy in your life. I didn't say its gonna be a fairy tale but almost close. For example; I want a guy whose honest and sincere, okay that generic but I go into detail as him to be adventurous, positive image, health wise and care for his body, above 710 credit, make sound decisions with his partner on every matter in their lives even down to having kids. See? its not hard but you have to practice every time you date/mingle/mix with the opposite sex. I didn't say "charge'em up" point blank in a round of 50 questions. LOL But get to having realistic, light, respected conversations, the NORMAL ones.



And last but not least, SMILE! Nothing doesn't kill a man in his tracks from a woman's beautiful smile. Smile at everyone, doesn't matter if they don't. Who cares! Smile because you're beautiful, smile because everyone wants to know the secret to your happiness, smile because you're human.