My name is Keesh, I have about a couple of blogs on here. I do not have any followers (that much ha!) but sharing something that I know means so much.

Yes, I'm from the South, Texas that is!! The deep woods of East Texas (The Iron Pine Curtain as I call it!) And I have two children, by two men, one from a previous relationship and the other from my first marriage. My daughter's father is white and my son's father is black. What makes this interesting is not too many black women around here have children that are from a different background. Hmmmm, sure I'm use to the looks and comments for so long doesn't bother me. But the thing is, I'm saying is the quality of men around here. Especially for black women who live in rural areas in the South. Sure the city black woman can move and mingle among the masses of men but what about the country girl? She does want that quality of life like her sisters of all colors but why do she feel perplexed?




For starters:
1. You still are in the "bounds" of the black community that doesn't protect you and your children.
2. You are still tied down in the "mental" prison to take care of your people and still feel tired.
3. After high school, you got with Craig, Anthony and all and had a slew of kids, which none of them aren't caring or partially caring for them.
4. Your "friends" keep you in line with the "black" check to see how real you are.
5. You still blame the fact your father/mother was the victim of the streets, drugs and all and that's why you are the way you are.
6. You stay in the church to find a good man and none of those "good men" aren't there. Either old, too old, reformed players or closeted gay.
7. Because you grew up in the country and feel that "I can't make it because it's too hard" or someone crushed your dreams( a friend, relative, acquaintance, boyfriend) that the city life isn't for you and you'll end up on the streets.

IF you answered ONE out of the seven, you need to WAKE UP!
First you need to take time to ask yourself: Why am I lied to? Why am I in pain? Why I can't have a great quality man that going to respect, love and cherish me?
Second, seek GOOD support from people that DO matter in your life! Even a counselor!! They over reasonable rates for you budget.
Third, consider dating outside the "WOODS."

But Keesh, that takes too much time & hard!

Well, If you want quality person in your life, enjoy living not SURVIVING, not putting up with "just any ol' thang" then you need to consider the following to live a prosperous fulfilled life.



For us rural area black women consider the following:
1. Date outside your race, doesn't mean rednecks or thugs. Please do not come back "Well I dated a redneck and he uses the "n" word. Okay, dummy, use your common sense. That's like messing with a snake and you know its a snake but you still have a GREAT chance of getting bit. Being aware that it ANOTHER whole different country than the one you live in. If you have doubts about dating IR, ummm you have Africans, Haitians, Jamaicans other black men that AREN'T from the United States born or raised. May not be interracial but intercultural. Yep,they are black you know and have different values and morals that do mirror our Southern upbringing.

2. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Meaning, be the most pleasant, flirty beautiful woman that you are! I didn't say go into "hoe phase" but watch how a white woman, hispanic, asian women (GASP! Yep,I said it!) how they mingle and float like a BUTTERFLY in the room. See all the men come to their response? WOW! Surprising isn't?


3. Online dating sites and match maker sites: Good ways to get "out there" and mingle. Watch out for scammers and the types that you deal with in the REAL world.



4. Go do things that you normally wouldn't go to: If you like to travel, GO! Don't be afraid! Any outdoor sports/activities? Go try them out. You only hindering yourself to finding quality guys when you stay selective. Well I don't like bugs?, They have indoor things too, and why are you complaining about bugs? You live in the country, right? LOL.




5. The most important is VET! What is vetting? Vetting is what you want in your life when its comes to career, friends, acquaintances, dating and finding the right guy. It ties in with common sense and what your mother,grandmother or aunts been telling you right all this time but you simply ignore it because you felt that its not up with the times. Vetting is positive, what YOU want without the hassles of anything cropping up crazy in your life. I didn't say its gonna be a fairy tale but almost close. For example; I want a guy whose honest and sincere, okay that generic but I go into detail as him to be adventurous, positive image, health wise and care for his body, above 710 credit, make sound decisions with his partner on every matter in their lives even down to having kids. See? its not hard but you have to practice every time you date/mingle/mix with the opposite sex. I didn't say "charge'em up" point blank in a round of 50 questions. LOL But get to having realistic, light, respected conversations, the NORMAL ones.



And last but not least, SMILE! Nothing doesn't kill a man in his tracks from a woman's beautiful smile. Smile at everyone, doesn't matter if they don't. Who cares! Smile because you're beautiful, smile because everyone wants to know the secret to your happiness, smile because you're human.